Monterey Poetry Review
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Ellaraine Lockie

1/15/2023

 
Picture
This Cloud According to the Wife    
--After the photo, “Outside the Artist’s Studio, San Pedro”
by Alexis Rhone Fancher
 
Some say it was the random hand of wind
that fanned this cloud into wings
That sunrays happenstanced the sky in pastels
above the husband standing by the train tracks
His future on the line behind the storage sheds
The perfect place to keep a suicide private
 
The wife says the wings were those of an angel
constructed by the almighty Creator
Who watercolored the sunrays into shades
of apricot/cantaloupe/pearl pomegranate
The husband’s favorite colors
Then painted the backdrop in the hue
of his baby blue eyes
 
The wife says the Creator clipped
the angel’s wings close to earth
To hover before escorting
the husband’s soul to heaven
After his body took a giant step
and the train exploded him into smithereens
 
Some say it was weakness
That he couldn’t fly away
But they don’t know the strength of faith
Of the childhood altar boy in him
How he walked away
from the priest’s hand on his thigh
But took the Almighty with him
 
Some say it was madness
The wife also says it was madness
Medical madness with the name Primidone
Inflicted by physicians who didn’t
read medical charts that say depression
Or the word suicide listed as a side effect 
 
 The After Anniversary
--For my husband after he ended his life
 
If I planned the perfect scenario to solo-celebrate our wedding
anniversary, it would be in our favorite way. I’d put the top down
on my 1999 Mustang convertible. Wear your herringbone
driving cap. Drive to the summit of the mountains overlooking
Silicon Valley. Backseat replete with a picnic basket holding
a blanket, bottle of Ridge Zinfandel, a collection of cheeses,
wholegrain crackers, strawberries and dark chocolate.
 
I’d turn onto the dirt off-road. Stop where the forest scales
a steep slope umbrella’d by oak trees. Spread the picnic blanket.
Then laugh out loud at the year we forgot that blanket.
At the doctor’s later diagnosis of the rash on my butt
and back of legs. Wearing a straight face he said “Poison Ivy.”
   
With this drive I would bring you back to life. Yet here I sit
on the couch eating potato chips and milk chocolate. Staring
at the paper-you inside the frame that must have corralled
you beyond endurance.
 
 
 
Ellaraine Lockie’s recent poems won Oprelle Publishing’s Masters Contest and their Bigger Than Me Contest, Poetry Super Highway Contest, Nebraska Writers Guild’s Women of the Fur Trade Poetry Contest and New Millennium’s Monthly Musepaper Poetry Contest. Her chapbooks have won Poetry Forum’s Chapbook Contest Prize, San Gabriel Valley Poetry Festival Chapbook Competition, Encircle Publications Chapbook Contest, Best Individual Poetry Collection Award from Purple Patch magazine in England and The Aurorean’s Chapbook Choice Award. Ellaraine’s poems have appeared on broadsides, buses, rented cars, bicycles, cabins, greeting cards, key chains, bookmarks, mugs, coffee sack labels, church bulletins, radio shows and cable TV. She is also the Poetry Editor for LILIPOH.
 
Poet/photographer Alexis Rhone Fancher’s photographs are featured worldwide, including the covers of Witness, Spillway, The Mas Tequila Review, and The Pedestal Magazine. A multiple Pushcart Prize and Best of the Net nominee, Alexis is poetry editor of Cultural Daily.
 www.alexisrhonefancher.com. 
 
Picture
Alexis Rhone Fancher and Ellaraine Lockie

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